shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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