i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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