thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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