well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize