it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
