one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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