You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
