worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
