Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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