you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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