I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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