Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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