You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
