Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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