oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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