i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
