I bet he comes in French.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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