garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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