New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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