Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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