Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
