im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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