Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
