I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize