so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I will pee on everything he values.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
