your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize