sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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