ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
someone owes me an orgasm
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
