just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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