You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
