We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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