Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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