That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
