She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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