when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My underwear smells like fireworks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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