she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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