I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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