I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I supernannyed him into submission
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
