Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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