did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
