I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
