I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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