new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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