i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize