how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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