Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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