worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
