So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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