Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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