i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
