eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
