Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
