yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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