My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
