i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Farmville is her only friend.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
