I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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