I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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