ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
