I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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