It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
