it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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