New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
