U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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