I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
