I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
