We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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