no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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