Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We named our party play list daddy issues
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
