Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
