When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
