your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
